Saturday, March 14, 2009

Today I Choose . . .

Six and one-half weeks ago
we drove to Utah in the middle of the night,
as you like to say, "to save you".
I have long lost count of how many times
I went to sleep with a prayer on my lips,
fearing you would leave in the stillness of the night...
questioning why a God so Great
would allow a man so good
to suffer.
It was not long before I realized
that your suffering was for US...
for all around you to change,
to CHOOSE to live better.

As stone hearts around you broke open
and wept in the night for your pain,
as all things faded into background
and only LOVE existed,
as self became selfless
and longed only to serve,
you began to come back to us.

Today you and Mommy went home.
I shamefully I confess my lack of faith,
for in the beginning I feared
you never would go home.
Not your earthly home.

How many times have you told me
that you could never thank me enough...
But Daddy, there was no burden.
It was all blessing.
I was living on
Holy Ground.

It is quiet here on "Walton Mountain" now...
I had to call you on the phone last night
for our ritual of "goodnights".

In four weeks you will be
88-years-old...
you will celebrate in your own house
that you and Mommy built.
I know that you and Mommy
will one day be called to your
Eternal Home,
but that will be in God's time...

I will not forget the lessons learned
through your suffering.
I PROMISE, Daddy.

Today I CHOOSE
to live life better.
One more thing, Daddy, that you
are right about...
Your Beloved IS
the most beautiful woman alive.

4 comments:

SpiritMama said...

What a beautiful, poetic blog you have. I love this post!

Thanks for stopping by my blog last night, what a fun soiree it was!

Waxela (wa-shay-la)
aka SpiritMama
http://www.spiritmama-art.blogspot.com/

Just A Girl said...

Dear Deborah,

I don't even know what to say about this post. You must love your father dearly...that is clear.
Isn't it strange how the Lord teaches us the most valuable lessons through our pain or the pain of those around us? What is stranger yet is that those lessons become our treasures.
Your parents are very darling!

xoxo Cori

HiHo said...

what a joy to have found your blog when you were writing and sharing your beloved parents...I can't stop smiling...
hiho heidi

Just A Girl said...

Hi Deborah,

I left an award on my blog for you. It's for new bloggy friends. If you choose to accept it that would be lovely!
I hope you have a grand day.

xoxo Cori