Tuesday, August 4, 2009

New Life

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Two years ago, this is where I was . . . drowning in a Black Sea.

How wondrously life has begun anew.   I do remember writing this, and yet it seems a life time ago, not simply two years.  I never think of those times now, not since they ended.  They stay up on the highest shelf in that imaginary book that I can no longer reach . . . I think that all of the Joy and Pride that you, Son, have given me, has caused me to recollect . . . to never forget the amazing thing that you have accomplished, by sheer willpower becoming the man you always wanted to be.

Don’t Talk About It

We were four in the beginning
Flying high through life
Above the clouds, above the storms
Till lightening struck him.
My happy little planned out life
Of cookies made from scratch
Cupcakes on the counter
Walk the kids to school
Was gone – stepped on a crack
Broke mama's back.
And her heart.
And her dreams.
We were falling, falling, fall broken by the sea
Then the waves came crashing down
Over him, over me.
And then we were three.
Not one drowning wave
To mercifully bring the end
But churning, unrelenting waves
Pulling us under again and again.
Be strong. Break free.  
We saw the light of the surface 
We had hope again
Only to be pulled back under
Into the darkness
Where we could not breathe.
We've survived this plane crash
Walked out through the fire
Stayed afloat in the raging seas
Yet we've survived alone.
Not three.
One, and one, and one.
No one talks about it. 
But me.

Blessed be God forever, blessed be His Holy Name.

Thank you for answering my prayers

beyond my wildest dreams.

8 comments:

Javajune said...

That my friend was beautiful! I am so glad you found your way out of that hole! You are a beautiful person with a wonderful family and desearve all the happiness you are experiencing right now :)
xo-jj

Silver said...

We emerge stronger, more compassionate and better people .. and you, are a fine example !

~Silver

javajune said...

We are often on the same wave link- perhaps you are my secret sister :)
xo-jj

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Dearest Deborah,
You are a gifted writer....I am so blessed. I don't know what you have been through, but such beauty for others I know, is born from pain. I am sorry for your loss dear one, but you know what you need to do. We are all here for each other and I send you my blessings and heart and ears and eyes to let you know that you are not forgotten. Merci for coming to my blog. Anita

roostreehouse said...

Oh my goodness gracious my dear lovely soul,
i just dont know specifically what your empathetic angst-provoking poem is about, but suffice it to say the pain comes across, which utterly surprises me, especially since you were in such a dark place only two years ago!
I am so glad you are here, now, where you are, intact, and healing, so we can love you and appreciate and admire your obvious love of life.
Gratefully
xoxox Rhonda Roo

Renee said...

I can't even begin to tell you...........

But he did come out back into the air. Back into the love that was always around him. Back into the family that never left him. Back into the safe place to fall.

Deb this is raw and real. This is a gift.

Love Renee xoxoxo

p.s. by the way I was shocked to see that I wasn't a follower, I always thought I was.

javajune said...

Btw, I so love your hair. Mine is getting an overhaul today, well actually just the usual because I have never had the guts to do anything different with it. "Chicken butt" as my uncle used to say.
xo-jj

Cori G. said...

My Dearest Darling Deb,

I was over here yesterday while at work and when I read your post I was left without words. WHat pain you felt is obvious through your poem, but I'm thankful you were lifted from that watery darkness and life was made new. I'm thankful PFC Ryan found his way out too!!!!! I have a nephew sitting in Florence who was not so lucky and the path of his life has forever been altered. PFC is blessed to have a momma who prays and LOVES BIG!!!!

xoxo Cori