Monday, June 21, 2010

Last Night

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She visited me in a dream last night, my sweet Doris.  The details are a blur, yet the peacefulness remains, even in late morning . . . her voice as smooth as honey, soothing words, the gentleness of her spirit.  Doris was a creature like no other, long flowing hair the color of a brand new copper penny.  Every ounce of her was love.  A favorite quote describes her best; My friend knows the song of my heart and sings it back to me when I forget.  It was Doris I would call when my little ones were covered in mud, handprints lined up on the fence . . . she said ever so slowly in that sweet voice of hers, OH, I did some of my best baking with mud pies!  So yes, I HAD to let the children play in the mud.

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 It was Doris that I called the day I lost yet another baby.  It was she who brought me back to my faith in that gentle way of hers, never imposing or judgmental . . . simply little whispers of my true heart.  She was a breath of Peace in my life.  She was my calm within the storm.  She was wise beyond her years.  Doris was a woman who got up every morning and did what it took to feed the children, and yet, she never lost her own child-like wonder and joy.  Every day was a holiday with Doris.  She was my role model for mothering, my inspiration for creativity. 

She was my JoY.

100_3232 Life changes, people move away and grow older, but Doris and I, we never let go.  In tear stained letters we continued to share our lives, connect our hearts, pour out our dreams, fulfilled and broken . . . our pain and losses.  Then one year the letters from her stopped.  I never forgot.  I never stopped missing her, needing her.  I mentioned to a friend that I was going to search for Doris, and the very next morning I received an E-mail from her youngest daughter explaining that she was going through her Mom’s Christmas things and found my E-mail address and hoped I still used it, for she wanted to let me know that Doris had died five years ago . . . when the letters stopped.

Doris was anemic all the years I knew her, way back when we were young.  Apparently some time in the night she awoke and got dressed as if she was going somewhere, and laid back down just to rest a minute, and in that minute, in her gentle, peaceful way, Doris entered Eternity.

She visited me in a dream last night, my sweet Doris.  In a gentle whisper, she sang the song of my heart.  I won’t forget again.

 

26 comments:

kj said...

i cannot put words to how i felt reading this, deb. it is a tribute any of us would hope for in our short lives: the ability to love and connect as you and doris did, still do..
.
as we know from renee, love does not end at death. you have written this so beautifully it is easy to feel as your felt in your dream and afterwards. doris must be eyeing you these days, deb. i imagine that's quite a comfort.

love
kj

audrey said...

Deborah, this is a sad story, but beautiful. I am happy for you that Doris visited you last night. You will never forget her ~ she was a very important part of your life.
You have a talent for writing such beautiful words and thoughts, Deb. I always enjoy your posts.
Take care, Deb. I hope your dream did not make you sad.
♥ audrey

Butterfly Works said...

As I read your beautiful tribute to your wonderful friend, I felt both sadness that you don't have her anymore and joy that you did have that time together....

A visit in the night lingers for days and reaffairs the joy and the tears you shared....

Thank you for sharing your heart....

Robin said...

Deb, KJ said it best... "Love DOES NOT end at death".... Doris' spirit remains and will always be there, watching over you -

She was blessed to pass quietly and sweetly in her sleep..

You both were blessed to have a strong and loving friendship....cherish those many memories.

Hugs,

♥ Robin ♥

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Oh Deb.....this is so very sad.
Having your friend visit in your dreams is a wonderful way to reconnect---the link between this realm and the next.
I suppose the most vexing and painful things in life are the questions for which there is no answer. We just wait till we are reconnected in the next to know what happened.
But I do believe you were visited....

XXOO!!
Anne

She Writes said...

Ohhhhh....... Oh...... tears

DreamChallenge said...

Deb, your words speak volumes of the love you and Doris share. Yes, share, because she still hears you and can not be right by your side.
Thanks for visiting my blog and space. Please come again, Jan at DreamChallenge.

deb said...

Oh , Deb, how moving and heart wrenching and powerful.
I imagine you comforted by her gift to you. I hope so.
To have such a friend cannot be put into words, and yet you managed to convey the ineffable.

I wonder if I am even a little bit of a Doris to my friends. We should all try to live such .

Marie S said...

Oh Deb how wonderful to see Doris again.
I am so glad you got to see her again!
Sounds like you have an angel in your corner!
Have a great week gorgeous!!
Doris is inviting you to play!

Manon Doyle said...

What a lovely tribute. Deb. I believe we all have these friends that even if we don't talk to them for years they remain etched in our minds. Sorry that you loss Doris but I know that she remains in your heart.

xoxoxo

~Babs said...

Simply beautiful, the way you wrote this tribute to your Doris Angel. Just imagine,,,,she and Renee Angel have now met and are smiling, laughing, and sharing stories of you!
Incredible,,I love your visitation!

Silke said...

Dear Deb, that reminded me of a dream I had of my grandmother this last week. She was a person who sounded so much like your Doris and whenever she visits my dreams, I feel that she had really been there. It connects me to her sweet, gentle and nurturing spirit that surrounded me all my years growing up.

Your friend sounds like the kind of true friend that will last beyond the years and beyond this life.

Your words are pure poetry!!

Love, Silke

Linda@ Lime in the Coconut said...

So beautifully lucky when these diaphonous yet such strong bonds meld us to each other. In life...and in death.

You were gifted with her special and soldered friendship in life...and she yours...even after.

Beautiful.

To Doris!

Ces said...

This is so sad. My heart is so heavy. This is so painful. I am so sorry Deborah. A friend like Doris comes only once in a lifetime. Take care dearest one.

Lost Aussie said...

What a moving post Deb. xoxo

Bella Sinclair said...

That she came to visit you in your dreams is like a kiss, a familiar embrace, a blessing. There are people I wish I could see again in dreams, and try as I might to will it, it does not happen. Or maybe it does, and I just don't remember.

I have no doubt that you gave Doris just as much love and joy and comfort and strength as she did for you.

xoxoxo

Javajune said...

Every one needs a Doris, I'm so glad you had her in your life. It's so weird how you think about someone and the universe sends a message. I recently thought about someone I hadn't seen in 24 years and the next day she contacted me on facebook. The power of thought amazing and sometimes scares the shit out of me.
So glad you shared your story. Sorry I've been away the last few days.
I can't wait to see what bad Alice is up to...
xo-jj

Kathiesbirds said...

I have a friends like this as well and I am wondering about one of them right now whom I have not heard from in a very long time. I will email her again to see if I get a response. She is 100 years old now! And another friend from the blogosphere just passed away this weekend. Her name was Bobbie and her blog is called "Almost Home." How I cried when I learned that she died. People leave imprints on our lives that are so powerful. How can we ever forget them? I am so glad your sweet Doris visited you!

rebecca said...

i was driving home today.
thinking of those i love who are no longer with us.
i was writing them letters in the clouds. i was singing out loud and hoping the stars and moon would take my heart and throw it like heaven
out out out into all that is bigger than i can ever be.
i was wishing i had written more letters.
i was asking for mercy and forgiveness the way others ask for rain on the desperate hot days of summer.
and then i found a "new" deb on my blog...saying she wanted me for her new BFF...
and so i am writing to exclaim, did you have any idea i live in prescott when you wrote that????

thanks for your visit and great comment!

Diana Evans said...

Hi Sweet Deborah!!!!

I love when God paints for us each and every day...and I love that you remind us to enjoy his work!!!

Hugs
Diana

Diana Evans said...

you also gave me chills with your story....you always have a way to share with us...bless your heart...Friendships are gifts...and you and Doris had an amazing friendship.....

Hugs
Diana

Ces said...

Hello, sweetheart. Isn't Bella the most fun ever? HAHAHAHAHA! How are you? I wanted to email you this afternoon but I made the decision myself. So please just wait...

Duchess of Tea said...

Such a loving tribute for an irreplaceable friend. I am lost for words to describe to you how I felt whilst reading this eloquently written post. As soon as I finished reading, David Harkins poem came to mind. It says:

“You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Deborah darling, I originally stopped by to thank you my lovely friend for your support during a time when I need it the most. Each comment you left was so full of sweet words, kind and loving thoughts and prayers, and each brought grateful tears to my eyes. For this, I thank you my darling from the bottom of my heart.

Love & Hugs
Duchess

Diana Evans said...

Hi Sweet Deborah!!! just popping in to say hello!!! I am so glad you popped in for my party early!!! I will be off-line for a few days...so I will catch you and your party when I get back on-line!!!

Hugssssssssssssssssssss
Diana

maría cecilia said...

Dear Deborah, you have entered right into my heart with this beautiful story of your friend Doris. So wonderful that you both remaing together in such a way.
cariños,
maria cecilia

Deborah said...

Hi Deborah, I enjoyed reading this tribute. I am sorry you lost her but I also say you were lucky to have such a wonderful friend.