Last Night

She visited me in a dream last night, my sweet Doris.  The details are a blur, yet the peacefulness remains, even in late morning . . . her voice as smooth as honey, soothing words, the gentleness of her spirit.  Doris was a creature like no other, long flowing hair the color of a brand new copper penny.  Every ounce of her was love.  A favorite quote describes her best; My friend knows the song of my heart and sings it back to me when I forget.  It was Doris I would call when my little ones were covered in mud, handprints lined up on the fence . . . she said ever so slowly in that sweet voice of hers, OH, I did some of my best baking with mud pies!  So yes, I HAD to let the children play in the mud.

 It was Doris that I called the day I lost yet another baby.  It was she who brought me back to my faith in that gentle way of hers, never imposing or judgmental . . . simply little whispers of my true heart.  She was a breath of Peace in my life.  She was my calm within the storm.  She was wise beyond her years.  Doris was a woman who got up every morning and did what it took to feed the children, and yet, she never lost her own child-like wonder and joy.  Every day was a holiday with Doris.  She was my role model for mothering, my inspiration for creativity. 

She was my JoY.

 Life changes, people move away and grow older, but Doris and I, we never let go.  In tear stained letters we continued to share our lives, connect our hearts, pour out our dreams, fulfilled and broken . . . our pain and losses.  Then one year the letters from her stopped.  I never forgot.  I never stopped missing her, needing her.  I mentioned to a friend that I was going to search for Doris, and the very next morning I received an E-mail from her youngest daughter explaining that she was going through her Mom’s Christmas things and found my E-mail address and hoped I still used it, for she wanted to let me know that Doris had died five years ago . . . when the letters stopped.

Doris was anemic all the years I knew her, way back when we were young.  Apparently some time in the night she awoke and got dressed as if she was going somewhere, and laid back down just to rest a minute, and in that minute, in her gentle, peaceful way, Doris entered Eternity.

She visited me in a dream last night, my sweet Doris.  In a gentle whisper, she sang the song of my heart.  I won’t forget again.