Thursday, October 27, 2011

What I Want to Hear



I knew this day would come, even as the doctor said “I am so very sorry to give you this news”, even as I would startle awake in the middle of the night in panic, and even as I would lay my head upon his chest a dozen times a day and weep . . . I knew the day would come when I could once again feel

 rmcmeen_echo_BONUS_Flwr2LeafBlue Joy rmcmeen_echo_BONUS_Flwr2LeafBlue

Like this morning, walking with my Bad Alice, who really isn’t so bad after all, more like a Naughty Alice . . . filled with Joy.   

In the midst of her own crisis, a beloved friend wrote to me today, writing that she really didn’t know what to say, what I feel like hearing.

Hmm . . . what do I want to hear?  I want to hear that God is good all the time, that God is faithful, that God can and does take what was meant to harm us and use it for our good, that endless blessings await us in the most difficult of trials, if we just accept the blessings.  I want to hear Rich Mullin’s “Creed” and sing it at the top of my lungs, shout it to the world. 


I believe it, I believe.



Thoughts for the day said...

I have always liked Rich Mullens songs. Such talent saw him one time in person and it was awesome.
hope it all turns out for you.

Ces Adorio said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cass @ That Old House said...

Dearest Deb,
It must be very hard to feel your faith and belief sometimes -- You are an inspiration in your honesty and sharing.
I wish I could put my arms around you in a hug that might help bring a little more joy.
What do people without Faith do? Where does their Joy come from?
I'm praying that you will have more times of Joy, and feeling the Hand of the Lord upon you.
Love, Cass

Ces Adorio said...

I want to say the right words but I don't. And quite frankly, I have a personal bone to pick with God. Please do not tell me that these are all life's lessons because if these are then they are at the expense of those we love and who am I to deserve a lesson at their expense??? No sir, I do not agree with this thing called God's plan. Right now there are a bunch of hoodlums wasting days and nights and parading themselves while muttering racial epithets and anti-semitic pronouncements, then have the nerve to ask for free healthcare, free education when in fact nothing is free. We, the taxpayers pay for free healthcare. I am sick and tired of these greasy, drunken and out of touch people filthily occupying the public parks. They are supposed to be God's children too. A fine lesson for me indeed, perhaps a lesson that I should be humbled by having to borrow money to help pay for my sister's medical care because she is in a country where nothing NOTHING is free. Yet, I will do it over and over again including selling my organs if I have to. I am sorry I cannot share the enthusiasm if there is any. Someone I love very dearly is in great pain and suffering and sorrow and despair has rid me of reasons to smile. Also I notice that those who believe in HIM suffer the most suffer the most. I should have been the one struck down, I barely acknowledged Him and yet every day and every night I call out to SOMEONE who would spare, protect and heal those I love. Maybe I do not know how to pray?

Unknown said...

You are truly an inspiration Deborah!!! Your Faith and Strength will guide you....


Ces Adorio said...

I love you too. Either I do not understand, too dumb to understand or too stubborn to understand. All I know is that it hurts like hell. I think that is the word.

yoborobo said...

Deb, all I can offer up is my friendship. I know this hurt is deep and big, and you must feel swallowed up in it. I am thinking of you and sending you my love! xox Pam

Bella Sinclair said...

To see you get up, time and time again, to fight and live and love ... well, that is the best inspiration I know.

Love and hugs!

Marie S said...

You are my idol and that is a gorgeous song thank you for sharing it with all of us!
Love and light,my friend.

audrey said...

I keep all of you in my thoughts, Deb. Sending love.
♥ audrey