Sunday, June 16, 2013

Dear Daddy

 

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Happy Father’s Day

It was so good to talk to you today.  To hear your voice, and to have you sound like my father was such an overwhelming relief.   I check on you through the home weekly, but after my last visit to see you, I have been unable to put myself through that much emotional pain again, so soon.  I cannot begin to imagine how lost you felt without Mommy those first few months.  71 years of marriage is a lifetime.  You two were truly one.  A love story for the Lifetime channel.

But as your daughter, I could not bear to see and hear you so broken.

I also use pretty much all of my mental/emotional strength keeping my own little family held together.

I can’t be falling apart.

So I prayed and prayed, not knowing what to pray for, simply crying out to God to help my Daddy.

And God answered by giving you a roommate.   A man your age.   A WWII soldier.  A man of your own era.  The Greatest Generation.  And you are adjusting to your new life.   I have heard some pretty cute stories about the two of you competing; how you are no longer dependent on your wheelchair, requesting a WALKER like your friend!  My heart soared upon hearing that.

I hear that you smile a lot now.

And you tell beautiful stories about you and Mommy falling in love.

You fold laundry and help water the trees.

So The Lord, God, nudged me today to pick up the phone and add a call to the card and the pictures I sent you . . .

And there you were.

My Daddy.

It was my turn to sob.

Because I still need my Daddy.

Thank you for coming back, even if it was just today. 

Brawny Man has one week off from chemo, so we will be driving to Tucson next weekend to see you.

Because a Daddy’s Girl always needs her Daddy.

I love you to eternity.

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10 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

What a beautiful post . . . wishing all the best to you and your Dad for your upcoming visit.

Linda@ Lime in the Coconut said...

::tears:: To a beautiful visit! And strength to the Brawny Man....

kj said...

Deb, I read this last night and I was too touched to string a response. So great! So hopeful! What a relief.

I hope your Father continues to thrive there. Isn't it amazing that even at ghe oldest age a person somehow begins again? It seems like a new chapter has begun for your Dad and than god you may not need to worry. I hope that is true for my Mother also, in her new nursing home

Deb, you write and share so honestly. Your faith and sorrow mix at the most human level--I thank you xo

Love
kj

Shirley said...

Tears come to my eyes as I read this, Deborah. Your parents' love continues to shine on through you and your family. The hardest times have silver linings and you just witnessed that yesterday. Sending a big hug to you as you continue this path of daughter, wife and friend..life is incredible isn't it? Thank you so much for your sweet and generous visits..they mean a lot to me!

Shirley said...

Goodness gracious, the story of the pilot and the flying squirrel is amazing Deb! Thank you for sharing!! And HA, yes, why not...even squishy guinea pigs may need some weight watching help. Chef Paul aims to please! : ) Thank you for your lovely visits!!

She Who Carries Camera said...

What a touching post. I'm sure it must be very difficult for you, but maybe this new roommate will be a godsend for your dad! Thanks for stopping by my place and leaving such a lovely comment. So nice to meet you!

Diana Evans said...

oh this is the sweetest post ever!!! what a beautiful photo too!!!! wishing you a wonderful week sweet Deborah!!!!

Carousel Dreams said...

Oh darling xxx

Anne Payne said...

Deborah, Your heartfelt words bring tears to my eyes. I hope you had a blessed visit with your daddy.

Kay G. said...

Oh, I love this post so much.

Heartfelt words, the comment above said, and that is it exactly, your post just spoke of your love for your Dad so well that this makes for a very moving post.
God bless you!