Thursday, June 9, 2011

Better Than a Hallelujah

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of a breaking heart

Better than a Hallelujah.

 

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Such a beautiful mess my life is right now.  The beautiful in my children . . . Daughter growing up so wonderfully, a beautiful young woman with a very good heart.  Son has grown by leaps and bounds into a good man who, bottom line, will always do what is right.  It's looking like mid-tour leave will coincide with the birth of his first child, His Daughter.  It is all more than I ever dared to dream.  My house is filled with the noise of a child again and much laughter and joy.  My heart is full.

The mess in my aging parents.  Mommy, who is 88, fell at church and fractured her hip.  Daddy is 90 and in very poor mental and physical health.  They chose to move to another state years ago when they retired, where they have had some of the best years of their life.  One life.  They are one person together, for 69 years now.  I have teased Mommy for years that when they die, I will mix their ashes together and sprinkle them around their beloved home, which they built with their own hands, and more upon the mountain range that has been their front window view for over 25 years, the mountains they so love, where they feel God.

With the loving help of their church and neighbors,  they were able to convince the social worker to release Mommy to home instead of rehab, so they could stay together.  The church has arranged home nursing care, rehab, and meals.  We cannot travel until Monday to check on them.  My greatest fear right now is that social services will step in and declare them unfit to live alone. 

My parents are old and in constant pain.  They have expressed their wishes to die at home.  We should all be so blessed to have the wonderful life that they have lived.  I pray that the government will not step in and condemn them to a nursing home (they even refuse to let me take them in).

A time to be born; a time to die.  It is part of God’s plan for us.

I believe it, I believe it.

Thank you Mommy and Daddy for the gift of Faith.

If you don’t believe it, that’s okay too.  I love my non-believing friends the same.  I am not imposing my faith upon anyone, for our God is not an imposing God.  I am simply thankful for my faith, for without God,

There would be no beautiful in this mess.

Awe, right now, my life is a

Beautiful Mess.

15 comments:

Maria-Thérèse ~ www.afiori.com said...

oh dear -
I am amazed at how positive you sound with all these difficult things going on! You are an inspiration. HUGS!!! <3

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Oh Deb, I am so sorry to hear about your parents; I know you have been enjoying the business of family and home.
You and yours, and of course your parents, stay on my prayer list~~may things all work for the best and above all else, may they be together.
Many hugs to you dear friend....

XXOO~~
Anne

Lost Aussie said...

Love and prayers to you and your family Deb.
I am sure you will rest easier once you have seen your Mom and Dad.

Cori G. said...

what a beautiful post Darlingest of Deb's. Sometimes I think the Lord gives us laughter to offset the pain. Laughter and joy in your home so you aren't overwhelmed by the pain of your parents home. You are blessed my dear friendling beyond words...I have missed you too.
Dancing hugs are on their way ;-).

Much love to you

audrey said...

Oh, sweet Deborah,
Your faith is outstanding and it is what puts the "beautiful" in your "beautiful mess".
What a loving beautiful life your Mom and Dad have shared. I, too, will keep them in my prayers with hopes that they can stay together in their home until God is ready to take them to His home.
♥ audrey

Cher' Shots said...

Continue to count your blessings. Although its hard to watch them age; you are very fortunate to have your parents reaching the ages they are. I lost my husband shortly after my kids had all graduated high school. But I know that God's timing is perfect for all of us. Stay strong!
'hugs from afar'

yoborobo said...

Hi Deb! I hope your parents get to stay together. You have a lot on your plate, and even though much of it is joyful, you can still get tired - lol! So don't forget to take a nap! xoxo Pam

Georgina said...

Oh sweet Deb, I know what you mean. However, my Pops died in '08 and my mother still lives in the house...she's 88 and her mental capacity is diminishing. All her life, my father told her what to do and how to do it.

Since his death, she's decided she's going to make the decisions, in spite of my brother and my feelings on what ever she wants to do. She's making decisions right now, but not very good ones and acts like a spoiled child if we intrude or play time-out with her.

She'll tell us to MYOB, but then turns around and makes a mess of things, then expects us to clean it up for her...demands it!!

Aging sucks and it brings out the worst in a person, someone who at one time sweet, kind, loving, considerate and just a downright nice person. She still is all that, but that other side is so difficult. My brother called me the other day and said he was ready to kill our mother...told him he had to stand in line and wait his turn!! Our way of just letting out some steam...OEY!!

Well, so happy to hear about the granddaughter on the way. My daughter is expecting, again. Hopefully this time it will be a girl...already has 4 boys. Told her if it's another penis, tie up the one she has left...there can only be one Queen Bee...natures way of "jus' sayin'!!" LOL

Take care and God bless.

xxoo,
Georgina

ChrisC said...

I am sorry to hear about your parents.I am going thru the same thing with my 92 year old dad.Thankfully,we were able to convince him to move to an ALF just a few miles from us,but he doesn't care for it.He misses his garden,but at least,we know he is well taken care of when we cannot be there.Hugs to you and your family.
Congrats on the g'daughter.They are so much fun to spoil.Get backs!

Ces said...

I am sorry for just now commenting. I read this post right after you posted and in my mind I have commented and shared my sympathy. Ick! I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I think I have already done something I have not.

Deborah, I know how you feel, having parents who lived very far away from me. It is unfortunate that our system does not have the resources to keep the elderly stay in their home without going through great expense. We are facing the same situation with my FIL who insists he stays at home. What do we do?

I have been praying so much that sometimes I wonder if my prayers work, I have to keep the faith.

We hope and pray and do what we think is right. I wish you strength. You are an inspiration. I love you very much.

Tsup!

Bella Sinclair said...

Wonderful news about the timing of your dear son's homecoming. I pray that works out perfectly.

And I also pray that your parents stay together in their home and have more peaceful days than not. You are approaching this tough phase with such grace and maturity and wisdom. I'm so glad you have not lost sight of the beautiful.

xoxoxo

indira lakhsmita said...

sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
i am with Grandewith:
YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION.

and you have a beautiful soul!!

xoxoxo ♥

indira lakhsmita said...

i meant, i am with Grandewitch!!!

sorry xD hahaha silly me...

Bev said...

i hear you, deb...what a beautiful post in spite of the difficulties...god's in control..
love and hugs...

deb colarossi said...

sending love ...
you are beautiful inside and out